"How can you be in pain when true love leaves if they will always be in your heart?
It is impossible" - Daniel Dempster
It is impossible" - Daniel Dempster
How does one handle the pain of loss? Where is the justice in losing a loved one, or even our own dignity from being a slave to the darkness? In this situation the individual usually believes that the dark corner they are curled up in has them in the tight chains of injustice. Through loss of such a cherished loved one it seems that it is an entity of such enormous power that has us on our knees with every memory being another lash of the whip. For those of us who feel we cannot make it through, what can we do when someone we truly love leaves us, such as the relationship falling apart or the event of a tragedy? In the first few months, years or even a lifetime the mind usually beats us from pillar to post telling us that we can't go on - maybe we drink, have suicidal thoughts, breakdown and cry constantly, seek out professional help? The road is an endless trudge of unstable steps when we are so broken. The loss of a loved one can make the toughest man or woman shatter into pieces - the glass mirror we once looked through called love. So then where is the love and why such cruelty for so many goodhearted people? There is a reason, and of course, a solution - ground zero. This is the place where we can't bare to lift our heads from and look straight at the world, though unknowingly it is the same place where the broken fragments on the floor can be pieced together in the strength of our being, making us stronger and allowing us to walk with the memory as a joy to remember rather than a heartache to carry for the rest of our lives. The cherished one we once held in a cocoon can float through the storm in our minds like a beautiful butterfly if we change our point of perception, that is to deal with the pain from the inside and not look at what's missing outside. Get up now or get up later, but one day we have to lift our heads up and face the world - one day we are going to get sick of the misery and let go, so better that day be today rather than tomorrow which never comes - find the fire inside - simple as that.
There are two types of love; one is unconditional (true) love which can never ever fade and is imprinted in the universal consciousness forever. It is engraved in the heart and soul of every being though only a few choose to notice so they can remove the blocks to it. This consciousness is everything you know, see and experience and everything you don't know - it is all possibilities. What we don't know we think of as the future and everyone unfolds a different future of course. We all gain love, friends, family, wealth, happiness and we all lose the same giving us the opposite of what we once held dearly - it is the roller coaster ride and the game of life, but it is only a game if you play it otherwise you will be played into a position you will most probably not favour. Then there is the love that the majority of the population experience which they do not realise is an attachment or lust to say the least, and this is why they cry when they lose the thing they think they love. Basically, they do not trust that the love within themselves is the only real love that they can ever experience and this is why they hardly ever tap into its source and always break at the loss of one thing or another. It starts from childhood - take the toy away from the child and it cries because it thinks it's happiness is in the toy, it doesn't realise the toy has no feeling offer it and that he himself generates the energy. Teach the same child how to love, nurture, understand and care for himself and you have a child who is less likely to be drawn to attachment, or at least will handle it better with less consequences when it faces loss. This principle is the same for every single human on the planet, no exceptions, and the child (or person) will grow housing a higher level of internal power to utilise in the future - it's going to need it!
Your partner, sibling, wealth, job, social status and all of these things outside are not true love it is you that feels the love is it not? Only you are true love. So if the love comes from inside you then it is you that has projected that love onto something that you find special. It is you that sensory projects an energy onto what you desire and that is why you are distressed when it is taken away, unless of course you realise that the loving energy was within you all along. When you reach this state of being nothing can penetrate you and your internal rate of power rises. When we die the world will go on without us and whoever we leave behind, if they are unaware of this concept, will crumble at the loss because you and the other, whatever that may be will not have experienced true love - it was an attachment. It is a simple concept but hard to grasp for a mind which is blinded by attachment. Failure to realise this concept is someone who does not know the workings of their inner self. Because they are permanently focused on seeing the world through the visual eye they project a certain energy onto that which they see in the world and seek to keep it and hold it within their grasp forever. Had they realised their power within they would know the true meaning of why everything dies in the world - nothing whatsoever lasts forever in this domain.
Like the old saying goes 'If you love someone let them go.' In any relationship, any kind of smothering, attachment, jealousy, the spoilt child with the toy, the rich man with all at his disposal that weeps at the loss - any of this kind of activity will create deep emotion which will explode at a later date certainly at the wrong time and end in tears or catastrophe, adding to another personal burden for each to offload if they ever figure out what is going on inside them. When is the right time for negative emotion to come out? - With a shrink or after fighting and hurting each other? This is what tears apart relationships of all kinds leaving broken hearts and such deep pain that the person cannot stand to be with or without those external things and it has now become a vicious cycle - it is worldwide and all because they cannot learn to love themselves enough that when the storm comes they do not sway. Self-knowledge is solid roots like the tree that knows if its roots are not deep enough in the ground it would not stand for long when the storm hits. Everything in the universe is by design - see the baby tree freshly planted, it does not snap in the storm because by Grand design the storm does not come to a place where things are not ready to withstand it - watch them grow. Self-love and the art of relationships is a design that is not to be built personally, it is to be discovered within and only when you find this within your true match will touch the plane of your heart and if ever they go you will smile at the wonder that nothing can break you, or them. This is only a partial observation of the idea of love (as the untrained population see it) in the male and female, sibling and material value relationships.
Lovers, friends, families and more are ripped apart through smothering the partner or the opposition through a battle of supremacy over who is right or wrong or who should be the decision maker. The potential solution for a lasting relationship is the idea that each person should obviously lead in certain areas (where they are clearly more skilled) but both need to realise that there is a time to step back and let the other take the lead even if the partner is 'wrong.' We hardly ever see that all most people want is to be heard and given a chance, an opportunity to make an achievement or a mistake so they can learn. A couple who can stay together and build an ongoing ship to steer takes teamwork and dedication to reach a long standing relationship just the same as the couple who can part and go their separate ways with a smile in their hearts have truly learned the art of self-love. It is paramount for both to reach their destination in harmony whether together or apart. The leader and the follower, the superior and inferior relationship will never be a fulfilled and comforting life because it leaves the other trailing in the shadow of the one they want to love but cannot reach due to ignorance of the nature of true love. When one understands the meaning of true love they are not unhappy, distressed or miserable when the person or an external material possession departs because they know they love themselves truly, which means they could only offer true love to the one they let go and there was no other way forward (acceptance) - it is a most powerful and neutral balance one can attain at that particular moment and that balance is actually the strength of love of oneself rather than anything outside, but reflects to the other person as love in turn. When the balance tilts (one or both seek new direction) the other must leave because the law of the universe cannot operate with opposing polarities in the same circle, it only allows connection and construction to be together if they are heading in the same direction. So what we see as destruction is actually constructive workings of nature for a higher purpose whether we like it or not and this is why it is paramount to find that place inside ourselves - it is our retreat available every second of the day. This is a true understanding of the self - it is like the beautiful butterfly that takes off as she finds a new horizon and heads for the sunlight.