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Parent Vs Child

8/10/2015

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It may seem that our valuable teachings and unconditional love for our children goes unnoticed or rather unappreciated as they tornado through our world often being the bearers of chaos and worry. To the dependent parent, the child seems to be the outlaw, placing bets against the parent to prove themselves right to the contrary, however, since the parent has overlooked the main push and pull factor that is fueling the fire then only more of the same results can be produced bringing more heartache to both. A parent who is dependent on the child conforming to their needs will always find themselves falling short of good parenting. The idea is not only to sharpen the skills of the child but to learn to adapt ourselves so that we are better positioned to handle the turbulence as it arises. When we see ourselves superior to our children they develop a sense of fear that they can never live up to our expectations regardless of what they are because it is us who continue the saga by setting a never ending goal where the finish line is unattainable - "I am the leader, do as I say." He we see the rebellious child growing in competition to prove the parent wrong in all and any aspect.

It is easy to think and demand that the child or teenager must follow in our 'humble' footsteps though we quickly forget that most of us have used our parents' examples to redirect our path and direction away from their mistakes and to capture our own sense of balance and strength in a testing world. The boy who tries to please the father by participating in the local football team becomes progressively miserable as the father relights his childhood dream through the mirror of his son and then becomes disappointed as the boy loses self control and lashes out on the edge of emotional turmoil and imbalance. The scarred mother who smothers and protects her daughter so much through the misery of her own past experiences then passes down the scar of hatred and lack of self esteem to a young teenager who seeks to look outside for the beauty that she already possess. The fact that we think we often know what we are doing or what is best for our children is very worrying considering we often find ourselves saying "I don't know what's wrong with this child, I've tried everything he just does not listen."

Any sane individual can see that when something happens another consequence arises. In the same way that when a parent makes a decision to mold and shape the personality of a child there are certainly going to be short term changes though the inner turmoil goes unnoticed. The child conforms whilst the spring tightens in the pit of the stomach until the coil has no more play and here is where we now have the bewildered parent and the rebel child. Hear your child, sincerely tell them that you value what they have to say, let them show you what they mean, how they feel and why they wish to assert themselves in the way that they do for the missing piece of the puzzle we lost as a child was never given to us by our parents as is reflecting now - it was what we gave away through people pleasing and wearing masks to cover our feelings, the conforming to rules and regulations.


Rules and boundaries are great though the parent who seeks to be right all of the time is usually more deluded than the child for it is not a matter of who is right or wrong, the key to inner freedom for both is who is willing to offer love in a place where ones pride is threatened.

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Mental Rental Space

8/9/2015

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Who or what is dominating our head on a daily basis? The thoughts are the currency that we have to spend throughout the day and it is usually thought which we consider to be a legitimate framework of our existence and use as a defective springboard from which to take action!

If our thinking was legitimate then the world would be a very unstable place due to the fact that we have so many mental judgments on our surroundings and the people that we interact with. Isn't it fortunate that some of us can actually realise that what we are often thinking is insane compared to the reality outside of our heads. When we entertain negative thinking and project our own mental illness onto others, or more to the point, when we are doing other peoples' thinking for them we are allowing them to rent our mental head space for free. Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to even care or consider the insanity of what we are thinking about our surrounding environment and therefore it can be clearly seen that our negative thinking and projections are a complete waste of time and energy. It is this energy that we need to focus on what is in front of us though we have usually given our power away to mental projections that don't even exist outside of our head and they all stem from one thing which is fear. Fear of the past repeating itself or fear through anticipation of what will happen in the future or the next moment.

Keep your mind in check with your behind and that is now, right here in this moment - there is no other reality!

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Self Control Or Self Denial

8/6/2015

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There seems to be a very thin line between control and denial or that they may both come hand in hand. When we try to desperately control the events that are playing out around us we are often left feeling frustrated and emotional at the lack of desired results. Self control can often mean letting go of the desired result, to detach from the current situation so that we can acquire a verified calibration of what is actually happening in reality rather than the alternate reality we are trying to project or impose onto the people around us or the surroundings of the environment that doesn't seem to conform.

Denial is something that is rarely spotted and is not an easy thing to come to terms with especially in the workplace and our close relationships. Denial is the root cause of the accumulation of multiple personality disorders and they all come down to one main issue - fear. The fear that is instilled deep within the heart of those who run from their own truth placing their power in the hands of limitation through the human ego and the shadow of their own existence. In the midst of denial there is no place for self control whatsoever because all bets are placed on the external whereas the act of inner control is within trained discipline to either let go entirely or to take the best possible action for the highest good of all concerned. Denial is a mental disease and eventually manifests in the physical form through disorders such as anxiety attacks and panic modes - like the boss who feels superior to the employees and refuses to take any suggestions on board in fear of being perceived as an incompetent player in the hierarchy or losing a position in business. He runs around the office trying to place every building block in perfect position, attempting to craft and shape each and every staff member until he eventually runs out of steam from not being able to cope any longer under the pressure. It is only here that he surrenders his intellect though he will not admit it, he believes that he has done so much for so many and for so little in return, self pity. It is in this final act of surrendering his own will that life can begin to shape the business as it should be rather than what he sees in his minds eye.        

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Networking Influence At Work

8/5/2015

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The workplace is usually a fast-paced and ultra sensitive area in our lives where we must be 100% fully focused on the tasks set out before us to reach the goals that either we have set for ourselves or those that the hierarchy have passed down the ladder. The tools at our disposal often do not do our knowledge base or our achievement rate much justice in light of the fact that most operating systems in the workplace have flaws compared to our unlimited human potential and that we often seek to complain about the state of everything around us rather than offer solutions to move forward. Most bosses naturally hold tight to employees that produce results rather than those who challenge their authority and spread confusion in the office. A vast majority of businesses operate through the implementation of force through disciplinary methods and sanctions and therefore generally have a low rate of morale and a high employee turnover rate. This seems to be the main reason for the demise of smaller companies that are chasing the larger business entities who have started out on the right foot which is to feed the employee good food for thought who will then in turn feed a good service to the consumer. What is the solution to the weaker links in the workforce whether it be the individual worker or the operating system in which the business utilises? 
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"The only hope for a truly successful business as well as personal development is the acquisition of power through simplicity."  Daniel Dempster.

Pressure or forceful tactics weaken employees and severely disable them from reaching their highest rate of achievement through the fear of failure to reach targets. In this type of work arena they are often too focused on the error they are so desperately trying to avoid thus move themselves into panic mode therefore blocking the natural free flow energy channel which can be be harnessed for excellence to be attained. However, training instead of sanctions can be applied when errors occur so that the employee can grow within the team which in turn has a knock on effect to the entire team. The morale of the individual and the work team as a whole is the most important area to develop for any business to be a success because quite simply - those who are happy to work will achieve the highest rate of success through power rather than force.

Just one member of the team can counterbalance the entire negativity of the workforce providing they have been trained in power through simplicity and tactical approach to employees creating a network of Influence.  

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