What are we passing down to our children?
A child needs to be taught to develop healthy attitudes in life to ensure they are reaching maximum potential to reach their goals. How can we show others healthy routines if we are not leading by example? We often hear people saying "Do as I say, not as I do." Well, the first word that springs to mind here is hypocrite. When we tell people, especially our children, that they should be doing the opposite of what we are doing they naturally have a lack of trust in our word, regardless of whether or not they show it as something does not sit right in their mind. How can we display one course of action and then preach the other with justification that it's okay for us, but not acceptable for them? If we want to gain trust then we need to practice what we preach. That's not to say that we will never make mistakes in life but at least try to live by an example that we wish others to follow, even our employees and friends.
A good example is the boss that is hated simply because they don't live by their own guidelines and principles. Admitting that we are wrong or asking for help from one of our employees, even at beginner's level, is a humbling and respectable act and will gain the trust of many. Most will not say it, but they will know in their hearts that you have acted with humility and over time their level of respect towards you will increase. Just because some people cannot translate what they see into words, it doesn't mean they do not understand. If people in your circle, whether family or work, are not susceptible to positive change then you either need to readdress the dynamics of the circle or train them to fit the purpose. Bring light to situations and help people to connect rather than staying focused on what people haven't achieved. Help them to be better through time and effort. Blaming people never worked, but educating them did...
Trust is a key to success:
We need to trust in everything we do to be able to reach our goals. The more we trust in an idea, or a person, then the more easily the desired outcome will be acquired. You can only trust when you come to know a thing, how it works and what are the underlying motives. When we find there is no ulterior motive, or at least no negative agenda then we are able to give ourselves fully in whatever may be required to get from A to B.
How can you trust someone who constantly lets you down? Someone who never shows up when they are supposed to, or never fulfils a promise is usually stuck within the confines of their own agenda. When you come across people like this you simply need to head in a new direction, you can try your best for a period of time but trust yourself enough to know when the game is up. There's no point trying to battle people and bend their will to match you own (unless of course there is an element of protection). Your child may not want to follow the rules but there could be a safeguarding issue so clearly you'll need to set boundaries as sometimes they do not see the pitfalls. Trust yourself enough to be a good parent and know that children have expectations. Sometimes safe boundaries do not meet expectations so they become unsettled or unhappy. The truth is that many situations like these will arise in their lives, and yours too. We can only learn and teach them how to trust in the whole process rather than a narrow-minded and closed point of view. W need to prove to them that life will get better. They will see clearly when you remind them that this too has passed...
When we try and give our children everything in hope that they will be happy and successful we minimise their chances to grow. As a result of overcompensating they are left untrained in handling life when it doesn't go their way. It's when the child falls that he needs to be shown how to get up stronger rather than catching him as he falls. How will he ever learn? Of course it is wise to teach a child how to be safe but in reality they need to learn to trust the process of life. The truth is that some roads are harder than others. When the storm comes they need to have a consistent element of success (trust) infused into the brain that they will continue through the rainy days until they feel the sunshine again. They need to hold on to the idea that there is light at the end of the tunnel
It is up to you, the parent, to instil this within the child. You cannot pass something down that you do not possess so learn to trust yourself starting now. Look around at the events happening in your life. What are you depressed about and what can you do to trust that time will change what seems to be stagnant?
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