Do you ever notice how your children are so well-behaved when they’re outside of the house, away from your company or simply on their own? You meet a friend who tells you they were so helpful and courteous, to your amazement! Why are they not like this at home and what’s going on with this dual personality? You may think that when they go outside and act differently they’re treating other people better than they treat their own family, and they are, but you need to see what’s actually going on within them and around them. Firstly, they’re not themselves when they are out. They’re trying to fit in and want to be liked, they find it hard to be themselves sometimes and so they do what they need to so they can gain the approval of people. They want to be thought of highly in the eyes of others and would rather hide their negative habits where they can. Who wants anyone to think they are a bad person—nobody in their right mind? So your child obviously knows how to act properly and conduct themselves in scenarios where it suits them, where it’s beneficial to them, but when they come home they turn back into the angry, argumentative, irresponsible teenager that you’re constantly at war with.

​Well, the truth is the way they are at home is their real personality. Outsiders only see the good side because that’s all which is being portrayed and nothing more. If you never show someone your bad side how will they know you even have one? So, don’t be unrealistic and think that your kids are against you and just simply love the rest of the world. They’re doing this so they can gain status and fit in. At home they can be themselves, leave the dirty washing on the floor, cups in their bedroom, argue and just be plain disruptive. The perfect person they’re portraying is the person you are leading them to be when they’re at home but it’s a lifetime of learning for them to even come close to this ideal. That perfect person does not exist and it’s not a split personality it’s simply a way for them to reach their goals. It’s true that most of our kids are well-behaved when they leave the house or present themselves in front of other parents and it is a natural thing. Don’t take it personal and certainly don’t tell them they’re good for others but hard work for you as they’ll take it as an insult and continue the behaviour if they know it’s getting to you. Give them praise when you hear how well they’ve behaved and begin to change their mental programming, Rather than saying “you’re not like that at home” let them know you appreciate their good behaviour in the house also. Theres no point in bringing more drama to the conversation by putting them down as you’ll not achieve anything apart from distance between you both.

Use your feelings as a guidance system. When you are feeling down or unsettled, take it as a warning from your body that what you are focusing on or experiencing is moving you away from your desire, which is to be happy. Something is trying to tell you that where you have placed your attention is causing you sadness so you need to change the experience. Most of us usually experience these feelings when we bring up thoughts from the past or sit in morbid reflection of something we lost. When we feel happy it is because we have placed our attention towards something that is serving us well, even if it is a thought of a fond memory in the past and we feel like we are on the right track in life. We can choose whether our memories empower us or whether they drain us of our energy due to how we process the information and how we feel about our past. So, making peace with our past is important if we are to move forward with a sense of freedom and empowerment. 

Freedom is the fruit that grows from releasing old and negative baggage. Whether that's letting go of past troubles and painful memories, changing our behaviours or moving away from unhealthy crowds and people. Happiness is freedom at its best and it can only be acquired when we let go of what is holding us back, usually our thoughts. Our thoughts are linked to feelings so if we change the way we think then we can, in turn, change the way that we feel and vice-versa. Once we start to make little changes we set the ball in motion for bigger changes to occur.

Our destination will never change unless we decide to make a turn.

In a world of uncertainty, the only thing that is certain is change.

Habitual thinking and taking the same actions everyday, following the same route or sticking to the same ideas will only bring about the same experience. If we are to move towards the changes that we want in life we need to plant the seeds for a new flower to grow. How much care and attention we pay to a particular idea will determine the outcome and the fruits that it shall produce. Should a plant not have enough sunlight or water then it would be deficient in nutrients and therefore would not bloom as well as it could with the right care.

The same goes for the human mind and body. If you want the world around you to change then you need to start making changes from the inside so the outside can reflect the same. The reason why changes do not happen overnight is because the new ideas have not been propelled in motion long enough to overpower the the previous way of living. If we have been acting a certain way for twenty years and decide that we want to suddenly change, we cannot expect the change to happen overnight and this is where many of us give up and throw in the towel. If you have been walking in a forest for a day and decide that it's time to go home, how long do you think it will take to return?

An idea will only ever be an idea until action is taken. Often, we need to be consistent with the action towards the goal and when we feel we are about to give up this is when it matters most. Pushing through our boundaries is important if we are to see any change at all. We can either sit around complaining about the change that has not come and continue to be miserable or we can take the necessary steps until it arrives in our world. Would it not be better to live a life of working towards our goals rather than to spend our entire life complaining about the lack of achievement? We can become stuck in a loop of failure when we don't even try to change and once this loop has us in its hold it can be very hard to shake off. When we are about to give up on something our inner self knows that this is our usual point of turning around and going back to our old ways. So when we push past these boundaries only then can we begin to experience change, now that we have moved ourselves into unknown territory.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. When you see someone dwelling on their problems doesn't it make you feel good to give them the push they need to succeed? Well, then we would do well to remember that no matter how smart we are, we all need a push in the right direction from time to time.

Each of us holds the ability to make the changes we need to reach our goals in life. Often, it doesn't feel like our desires are in our reach due to all of the mental clouds that are looming over us. This can be home life, work, families and children, personal or social problems. Until we learn to make changes and begin to connect with different people around us, people who can steer us towards our desires and destiny rather than those who do not know how to move us forward, we will continue around in the same circle of life until it becomes unbearable.

When our partners tell us they want to leave or our children are being so defiant that we just cannot stand the pain anymore it is usually then that we realise we need to make changes, often when it is too late. The choices we make depend upon the state of mind we are in at any particular moment and out state of mind comes from the information we receive from the outer world. It is hard to break out of our habitual way of thinking and acting and so we need an external, unbiased source to intervene and point us in the right direction. This would be someone who has no vested interest in any particular outcome, simply to help us realise our potential and realise our own value without needing the approval of others. 

Life has its endless trials and tribulations so thinking that all of our problems will disappear is an illusion. Being a realist, one can learn to understand that there will always be challenges. Simply changing our perspective and our attitude towards the way we respond to those challenges to bring us better outcomes is the underlying key to success. 

Success is measured by happiness. If we are happy then we are successful regardless of what assets we own because when happy, we tend to look no further. 

As we move through this year throughout a devastating pandemic it is easy to see we are strained in regards to mental and physical health. For many of us our energies have declined, our motivation has dropped down to a minimal and we feel lost out at sea with no direction.

Know that firstly, it is not only you who feels this way. Remember that this is a global pandemic and people are experiencing this change all around the world. To be alive and well throughout this troublesome time is very lucky indeed. If we take a look at the people who have lost lives or jobs and ask ourselves - how would they feel to be in our shoes, to have that one last chance? How would their families feel to see them one more time? Sounds morbid but very true. Our problems which we have right now may seem big but would also be trivial to someone who has lost something dear to them throughout this ordeal.

The first thing to straighten out then is our perspective. Are we really suffering or are things simply getting on top of us, being taken out of our comfort zones. For most of us it is boredom and being knocked out of our daily routine that has upset the mental balance. When we are out of balance mentally, this eventually begins to manifest itself physically and our physiology changes. We become irritated and unsettled and therefore begin to make irrational decisions, if any. Now is the time to reflect on what these times are tying to teach us and to try and learn from the experience so we can move forward stronger and healthier.

Having someone as a sounding board to talk to is very important. We need feedback from the world so we know whether or not we are heading in a healthy direction and healthy thoughts cannot come from the unhealthy mind that created the problem. An outside perspective is sometimes the only way we can see the light. Gaining this feedback from someone outside of your usual circle is advised as you will receive unbiased answers of truth rather than what people think you want to hear. 

You will make it through this pandemic and you will come out the other end stronger. Even if we don't believe it. It's better to go through life feeling good about ourselves that feeling negative all the time. The negativity will breed more unhealthy situations and life will become twice as hard. Someone who is struggling but still has the power to think positively has the seed and opportunity for change rather than someone who has closed off their possibilities from negative behaviours.

You cannot think your way into better living but you can live your way into better thinking.

Our time is the most precious thing we have next to life. It is the true currency we have to spend in this world and the one currency that we can never get back once we have spent it.

The choices that we make in this lifetime will determine what we leave behind for our loved ones. There comes a point in our lives when we must look at what we need to do rather than what we want to do. Unfortunately, many of us do not realise this until we are much older and wiser. Some of us possess the quality to notice the fact at an early age and it is almost natural to act in a sensible manner. Those who do realise will surely reap the fruits of that seed much earlier in life rather than one who fails to take heed of the simple idea. Necessities before luxuries. Dare to let go of your wants and look deeper at what you truly need. Most of the time, if we are honest, we actually need to let go of ideas, memories, baggage and even material possessions at times so that we can be free to move forward and away from what is holding us back.

Time is so important. When we are young children we have no concept of time itself and move throughout each day almost fulfilled. As we grow and become tied to our duties and schedules we are drawn into a whole new concept of time and generally the idea is that we do not have enough of it. We begin to realise as we grow into adults, usually into our later adult years, how short life really is considering the average life expectancy. We begin to change in seeing that what we once held as important is now not so much. Goalposts and morals adapt as we age and look back, reflecting on the choices we made, the opportunities we seized and missed and the goals we failed to achieve and those targets we reached. Reflection on how we have spent our time is very important if we are to make the rest of our lives better and for our loved ones around us also.

How are you managing your time today? Have you allocated enough time to your necessities for them to take priority over your luxuries?

We each have the choice at any given moment as to whether we want to be in darkness or in light. It doesn't mean that when we are in a dark place and we then choose to move towards the light that our circumstances will change instantly but it does mean that once we set our compass to head towards what it is that we want we are then moving away from the darkness. It seems to be easy to just accept that we are where we don't want to be but that's just the way it is so we put up with what we don't want in life. It may seem easy but it is not. The pain, the emotional turbulence and the mental torture of being in a place we don't want to be will soon become unbearable. Many of us just simply keep on trudging through life, struggling, and not knowing how we can change or move towards the things we want in life.

We have to be willing to let go of our pain and not hold on to it as tightly as we do. We see our pain as something that clings to us, or something that has happened to us that makes us feel this way and rarely ever recognise the fact that we hold onto this pain ourselves. We are responsible for relieving ourselves of it. Things happen to us which are out of our control; accidents, painful experiences, traumatic incidents, but it is only us who can heal ourselves from the pain of this trauma. When we have finally had enough of feeling the sickness we say 'I can't do this anymore, it's time to let go.' Of course, in some instances we need outside help, but ultimately it is us who chooses so seek help so it is our choice to heal ourselves in the first place. Until we decide that we want to let go of our pain we can never begin to heal.

So, whether we want to be in darkness or light, pain or pleasure, is a choice which is made internally and then later reflects on the outside world once we take action and choose one or the other. Remember that consistency will move you towards your target so be realistic. Some things will change instantly and others will take time depending on how far you are from your expectations.

Your search for spiritual truth is your own. Your pathway is unique to only you. You are the one who can fuel the fire to create your dreams. Yes indeed the road does get tough along the way. We can lose hope at times but learning to be consistent will pull us back onto the track where we are supposed to be.

One of the greatest illusions is the idea of how we think life should be in our heads. When it doesn't turn out the way we had hoped we become frustrated and feel let down that life has wronged us. This expectation is the seed of hurt and pain. There is nothing wrong with having goals and plans but the expectation that they will appear in front of us without any hurdles along the way is unrealistic. Be fluid like water and flow with whatever life brings so that you can adjust through the seasonal change of what manifests in life.

One of your greatest assets is your ability to change and adapt to the surrounding conditions of things as they arise. Change is inevitable. Be the creator of your own destiny and learn to believe in yourself. No one will believe in you until you believe in yourself and when you begin to project that belief onto the world you will become a leader whom others will start to follow. A positive mindset will bring about a positive life only if followed by consistent action towards the same idea. The search for spiritual truth is not easy at times but certainly worth it, for the more we search, the wiser we become and the more we are able to teach our children and loved ones. Passing along our wisdom is the true wealth that we should aspire to gain and duplicate.

One of the greatest forms of freedom is freedom from ourselves. Not being held hostage by our own misconceptions or our own failures. Acceptance.

To understand and remind ourselves that we are human at the end of the day and we all make mistakes is a great step forward from what we see as failure. They are certainly not mistakes if we learn from them. The purpose of life is to find our purpose and this can take a lifetime to come to know so give yourself a break and begin to enjoy the ride along the way. Loosen up a little and enjoy the environment rather than always trying to get to somewhere else. We can get caught up in the chase, unknowingly, the chase itself can become what drives us rather than what we set out to achieve in the beginning... Happiness. We always seek to what we will think will make us happier but it is easy to forget what we started something for in the first place.

Our freedom comes at a price. If we want to have luxuries, or even necessities, then we have to pay for the cost of running a home or a car for example. That cost is not only paid for with money but more importantly, with our time, so one way or another we are not truly free because all of the things we need and want come with a certain price to pay. It all really depends on what we're willing to invest of ourselves in a particular thing and that depends on how much it means to us. What we give meaning to depends upon our value system and what we hold in the world as important. Of course, what one person sees as important could be irrelevant for the next person so we are all free to choose our own level of freedom. You can live in the world with material values and still be happy and free provided you are not attached to them. You can see how much attachment you have to a particular thing when you lose it. If you lose some expensive jewellery but are not phased by the loss then clearly you are not driven by needing it to be happy. Things merely come and go and this is they way life is. If it has sentimental value and you are upset with the loss then again, you can see your level of attachment by the level of meaning that it has for you. There's nothing wrong with having attachments although when you cannot get over the loss of something and it begins to cost your mental health and emotional balance then it's time to review the idea and start to cultivate acceptance if you want to be free from yourself.

​Freedom only comes when you choose to no longer pay the cost for whatever it is you are holding on to.

You have to believe in yourself. This is where the magic begins. It's easy to just simply give up at the first few hurdles we come across, so we think, but it's even harder to live every day knowing that we gave up on our dreams. The guilt will eventually consume us. Belief in yourself is the highway to Heaven for when we have that faith we cut away all alternatives to failure and are rocketed forward towards our goals. Faith is a kind of determination not to let anything stop us on the path we are heading to reach our destination and to have faith in oneself is the best and most effective friendship one can cultivate.

When we tell someone that we believe in them or what they are trying to achieve, look how it gives them strength to carry on. Just because we do not get the feedback we had hoped for in the world from the people around us it doesn't mean that our ambitions are meaningless, we simply need to boost ourselves at these times when there is no one else around and tell ourselves that we are good enough and remind ourselves that we are going to make it regardless. We are not always going to be lifted by people and more often than not people are likely to put us down or try to steer us away from our course so staying focused and having faith in what we are doing is imperative for success to appear. Through all of the rain and the pain if we can still keep knocking on the door of success it will eventually open. The door only stays closed to those who stop knocking.

First give yourself the appreciation that you need before you seek it in others. By searching for validation in other people first you will more than likely fall short but if you find the strength in your own belief that you are good enough you will always stand tall. Of course, you will have days where you don't feel like you are making any progress but you will not be searching for other people to give you strength. There will be times in your life when no one will be there to offer that strength so you need to learn how to cultivate this from within and then pick and choose who you take advice from, good or bad. This way when someone puts you down in the world you have your own strength to fall back on rather than collapsing because you don't feel worthy enough of someone else's ideals.

When the world seems to have you in a tight hold and you have nowhere to to move, it's time to let go of what is holding you hostage. 

Most of the things that hold us hostage are our own ideas of imprisonment. Whether that's not being enough, feeling trapped, a failure or seeing the world as a hopeless place, it's always an inside job. The lock holding these chains around us is our own mind and this is where the idea stems from. After a while our thoughts become our beliefs and what we believe becomes our reality so in order for us to break free from whatever is holding us back we need to remove the belief system that's keeping us stuck in the same place. Many of these beliefs have been have been instilled within us and are running in our heads as programs since our early years and we are not even aware that they are running. All of them we pick up along they way through social programming. The naive person believes what they see or hear to be true in the first instance without question and picks up these destructive thought patterns and utilises them everyday without even knowing they are at play. This is carried forward throughout the years and opportunities slip away without even noticing because of the mental barriers that have been erected.

All you have to do is simply take stock of your personality. Whether that be on paper or asking another person for genuine feedback. Asking a friend to tell you honestly about your good and bad traits is a good start, or even someone from your family. Once you have this feedback you're able to make a start at working on both the good and bad points. If someone tells you that you have a short temper at times, you may want to look at was of diffusing your anger before it gets to the point of no return or simply for better ways to handle problems. You may even look for counselling for help with the matter. Either way, by honestly acting upon the feedback given, you will be able to remove these blocks, one-at-a-time, and break away the chains of your own imprisonment. How you see the world usually dictates how you will react so if you see the world as a frustrating place then anger would more than likely be a common response. Once you learn how to dissolve that anger as it arises rather than react you will no longer be responding to the circumstances in the world and will be in control of yourself rather than the world being in control of you.

Let's not forget to work on your positive traits; they are the seeds for growth in this world. It is easy enough to point out where we are going wrong, to be hard on ourselves but this will not help if we are to move forward. How long should we beat ourselves up for not reaching the mark or for making mistakes? The more you place your focus on your solution rather than your problem then the quicker you will reach the result you wish to achieve.

Freedom of the Spirit is what we yearn for, though most of us don't realise it. There isn't anything out there holding us back, that's just an idea we have learned to believe in our heads for justification because we need some sort of confirmation for reasoning so we can put things to rest, mentally.

When you begin to see that thoughts are fleeting, impulsive and random you can then begin to detach from them. When you are free of thought there is nothing left but the moment. It is in this moment of freedom that you enter a magical workshop—everything here happens effortlessly. Put yourself in this state for one moment and notice how you are still functioning without thinking. Yes, thoughts still arise but just let them rise and fade. Everything that needs to happen is already happening without you even having to think about it. Move flawlessly and know what it is that you have to accomplish. Of course we need to think at certain times, though after you have been operating within this space for some time there is a shift in the underlying fundamental patterns and energy fields that operate your very existence. This is a self-reprogramming method which can easily be done at any point in the day. It is not hard at all—you simply let go of any thought that arises and continue to do what you need to do throughout the day. Do not let your mind control you. When you want to take action you should command the mind and it should work for you. The mind cannot gauge in accuracy the truth of anything, it is all of your senses together that work as a unit which then gather an energy called intuition—it is here where you will find your answers. When you have a gut feeling, you are using your intuition. Build this skill as it is one of the most valuable skills you will ever acquire. In fact, it is the gateway to the truth of life.

Do not try and contemplate, think or even wonder about what you are reading now. Your body is a supercomputer and can understand this information on so many deeper levels than your mind can translate.. You do not see the intrinsic complexities or the framework that bridges the world of Spirit to the world you see and call reality right now. Thinking is a psychological disease and can be transcended. With this kind of change comes much external change—which could mean relocation, separation and of course new bonds and ties with new faces and challenges along the way.

Your Spirit knows the way forward, it is the unlimited life force that connects everything together in existence. Your brain is much slower but the two of them actually do work together in harmony (though sometimes you may not feel that they do). That is simply because at that moment you have not accepted what is happening to you. Notice the feeling of relief come over you as you accept the truth of yourself (let go of grudges or negative memories). There is nothing more painful than your own internal struggle. There is no struggle outside of you. The life that you see is the reflection of the life you have made for yourself—the struggles you have come here to learn, and then overcome. Look back and notice how you have overcome almost completely every struggle that you have been through—except the ones you are still holding on to. Time to let go of them now.

If you are clever, you will seek to gain some kind of karmic merit in this lifetime ...